Finding My Way

I’ve never been one to set resolutions or to even say, “New Year, New Me” on a Facebook post. I’m not against anyone wanting to reinvent themselves and setting goals at the beginning of the year, but I usually kind of keep those things to myself just in case I don’t follow through. Plus, I get better results in my life when I don’t announce them. However, this year I am setting some resolutions and I’m shouting them to the world (well to you guys, I’m shouting them to you)! They may not be super huge, but they are definitely needed.

First, I told myself I would date this year. This is big for me. Going from being single for two years after a nine-year relationship, I have to admit that the idea of dating terrifies me. Like how do you meet a great guy? I know for certain that there are good guys out there, so I can’t be afraid. I took the first step in the right direction (at least I’m praying it’s in the right direction), and I got on one of those dating apps. Then a friend of mines told me to get on another one, so hopefully one of these two will work for me. Or at the very least break me out of my shell, and allow me to have some fun. The goal is to go on a few dates, meet some new people, taste some new food and get back out into the dating world. It’s so different since the last time I’ve had to do it. And I was pretty much a kid then, so my idea of what I want now as a woman in her 30s are totally different. I will go into this with an open mind, an open heart and no expectations – that way I won’t be disappointed.

Secondly, I am going to start praying for my husband. I started a new book called Fervent by Priscilla Shirer (the star of the movie War Room). This book has helped me pray better. I never even thought about praying for my husband that I don’t have yet, but it makes perfect sense. You pray for the qualities you want in a man, and speak them into existence. I’m going to write them down and continue to add to the list throughout the year. Now this won’t be a crazy list like, “He must make six figures, drive a Benz, etc.” It will be more like, “A God-fearing man, a great provider, someone who values family and that’s honest and loyal.” I completely understand why I got what I got in former relationships now, and why they didn’t work out. But going forward I set out to do everything in my power, like prayer and requesting discernment on figuring out who is really for me In Jesus Name, in order to have healthy relationships. It’s crazy that having morals and being good hasn’t meant anything to certain men thus far, but they will marry someone without values in a second. All I can say to that is my King will be worth waiting for. And not only worth waiting for, but will have prayed for me just as I have prayed for him.

Third, I love to travel so I will be taking at least one trip this year to somewhere I’ve never been. My first trip of the year would have been back to D.C. for my second Inauguration had Hilary won the presidency (she’s a woman so that is major in my history book), but that’s out now. Hotel room cancelled. So, I’m back at the drawing board. I have so many places I want to see here in the country and outside, but I need it to be exciting! Something tropical where I can be half naked with a margarita. I can just see if now: PARADISE. Time to finally get my passport and get my wanderlust on.

Fear is not me at all; it never has been. I step out on faith without a second thought most times. But somehow along the way, I lost that faith. In 2017 I will find it again through dating, praying for “The One,” and traveling. I am actually excited about letting go of the fear and having some fun. I deserve to have fun and to be in love… like real love.

One thing I’ve learned in the past year is to do what you love and don’t worry about the negative things. Waiting until you are absolutely ready doesn’t always work. Sometimes you have to just take the leap and pray that all goes well. This year will be great, and full of all things positive. Just be you and stay true to yourself, and everything will fall into place.

Dominique Harkness

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