I wish I could say I will miss 2016, but it was a living hell both personally and internationally in my humble opinion. I look in the mirror and I see someone different from last year. There is a woman who has gotten stronger and weaker in the same breath. I have fire coupled with the intense desire to run from the heat just to find some peace of my own. I look at this person and realize it isn’t just about new years resolutions and what I might accomplish. It isn’t just about me and my future, it is about the world. Now this may seem a bit ridiculous as if I am over reaching, but the truth is, how can I create a world of my own whilst surrounded by the chaos and hate. Yes, I said it, hate. It is an ugly word, but a powerful one non-the-less.
My mother taught me to appreciate others. She taught me to look beyond the color of skin, the heft of a wallet and the beauty you only see with your eyes, so when I turn on the news and hear the screams of mothers whose children have been killed or beaten because someone did not like their skin color or their sexual orientation, the way they look or sound, I am floored by the lack of compassion as human beings. The more I think about it, the less I understand. All the indifference, hate and greed I see is not even with its original owner. It has been passed down from generation to generation. Those who hold it now barely know why; they simply do what they were taught. That by no means is an excuse, but it does beg the question…. Where did it all begin?
Politics. It is everywhere all the time. It is not about what is right; it is about what is most beneficial to the politician and those who surround them. When I hear of people crying or wanting to leave the country because their chosen candidate was not elected for president, I shake my head. Does it matter if it is a man or woman? Does it matter what color their skin is? No, it does not. Consider who he or she is as a human being. Can they do the job? Will they do the job well? Will they put the needs of the country before their own? Whether you wanted the president elect or not, should we not wish for him to do his very best, to fix what is broken, to unearth what is buried, to create a safe environment for all who wish to be here? He may or may not accomplish those goals, but I sure as hell hope he does. To wish failure, denotes a complete lack of respect for everyone involved.
I hope by this time next year, there has been real change, real growth and real peace. Am I being foolish with my sentiments? Perhaps, but when I look into the eyes of the little ones who will one day run what is left of this great country, I want them to know that I tried to be the best human being I could be. I tried to learn from my mistakes. I loved without regard for race or abundance. I was kind when no one asked, and I was gentle when no one was looking. I forgave those who harmed me, and most importantly, I am a better person having done those things. I wish for those I love to be proud to love me, proud to know me, forgiving of my short comings and in awe of who my dear mother raised me to be. I hope to better then, than I am right now. I hope to be wiser, I hope to be a greater asset to those who need me the most. I hope to be free of the chains I placed on myself. I hope those who died to protect all the freedom I have might one day know how truly grateful I am for their sacrifice. I hope, when my time has run out, I will be able to look back with pride, knowing I did my best. Even if I failed, I tried, but most importantly, I was brave; brave enough to try to be everything I expect of myself.